What do Quality Relationships and Older Cars Have in Common?

As business owners, the importance of growing the right network is top of mind. It directly correlates to business development and increasing the potential for sales. Revenue is what keeps your company alive and able to move forward.

As a career professional, the concept behind developing a circle of connections is not automatically understood or promoted. Employees FOCUS their attention on the interactions between themselves, their boss, and coworkers or immediate team members.

Once they leave an organization, out of sight, out of mind can happen. People you meet in a professional setting are always future resources to be managed well now.

In both scenarios, relationship building serves a specific function. The approach for many tends to be more superficial than deep. How these people might fit into a longer-term valuable network vision is lacking.

This is where the conversation quality becomes critical.

What is another similarity between relationships and an older car?

Knowing how the person (or car) functions under the hood.

Imagine you felt chronically invisible, unheard, misunderstood, and not valued.

Then someone comes along, smiles genuinely at you, makes eye contact, uses a soft vocal unrushed tone, and speaks to you as if no one else in the world mattered but you.  You might pause in disbelief then realize later just how good that felt.

When an animal is abandoned or mistreated, their initial reaction to kindness is skepticism and fear.

We have all seen how a stray dog responds to the human who is attempting to rescue it. The process of patience and continuing to build psychological safety takes time and consistency.

When left alone in a silo too long, humans react the same way. Whatever relationship you might have established has eroded. It wasn’t nurtured in a personalized fashion that was meaningful. You must begin the relationship all over again, slowly.

“How’s the weather been in your area?” or “How’s your family/job/business going?” are generic questions.

Instead, showing you care is proving it with the quality and intent of your words.

 “I recall at our last conversation two months ago; your son was being recruited by XYZ University. Did that soccer scholarship come through for him?”

Having predictable conversations even on a regular basis, is not adequate to solidly build relationships that have a deep sense of commitment and loyalty.

Everyone needs to feel seen, heard, understood, appreciated, and valued. Most of all, people need to feel like they belong wherever they are now.

Social skills in a dehumanizing world of technology are weakening. Wise people just don’t dispense information, they must learn these foundational skills for a compassionate understanding of others without a specific self-serving agenda.

People leave people, not jobs, when they feel diminished in some way. They could be your employees, team members, customers/clients, vendors, friends, or even family members.

Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, said it best in how she educated her associates:

“Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, “Make me feel important.” Never forget this message when working with people.”

At her death in 2001, she had a fortune of $98 million, more than $1.2 billion in company sales, with a sales force of 800,000 in three dozen countries.

Using this mantra seems to be the key to her enormous success. She got FOCUSED on getting each conversation right.

Listening to Learn is using persistent curiosity, asking the right questions at the right time, while knowing what to look for in others, will lead you down the path of getting to know a person and legitimately earning a place in their heart.

FOCUS your attention, listen keenly, learn more, then retain that information to expand on future conversations for an ongoing, mutually fulfilling relationship.

Your Guide to FOCUS Forward,

Donna

P.S. Hope this gave you some valuable insights. Until next week, keep growing and leading with network building actions!